Anonymous Celebrity

Ughhhhh!!!! Right now, I am CRINGING after just having seen MTV's The Fabulous Life Of ... with none other than MYSELF the subject of their pseudo- investigative journalism this time! It's not so much that I mind people saying "she has enough money to buy 5000 lear jets" or "with just the price of ONE of her houses you could get TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND ARMANI SUNGLASSES" but it's like, TOTALLY NOT about ANYTHING I do, and ALL about WHO I supposedly am. I feel like fucking saying ... you wanna know who I am, come over here and read my freakin' blog, except you're all so busy making bit-part documentaries you haven't even noticed I'm writing about my feelings/who I am etc right under your freakin' noses!

Anyone ever seen The Fabulous Life Of? Just in case you haven't, it's like this show where MTV portray mainly pop singers - but also other A-lists linked to the pop circuit - as out-of-control, rich-as-shit divas with nothing to do but shop. OK, while maybe JUST A LITTLE of that is true, it hardly promotes what we artists do with any kind of balanced "journalism". And who the fuck are those magazine sub-editors and PR people they manage to get on the show sounding like your best freinds, or even worse, some kid who you never even fucking knew at high school who claims thing like (in my case) "and I remember when name removed was in the school play ... she just HAD to have her own locker room!" Like, WHATEVER.

OK, rant over. As I say, it's not that I mind the commentary and speculation, but sometimes I think a network like MTV could feature just a little more music and a little less of those freaks they manage to dig up from your past who you can't even remember having met. Come to think of it, half those people are probably just bit-part actors PRETENDING to know you ...

... well anyway, in a more fortunate turn, I suppose I do kind of have a FABULOUS LIFE, at least for the moment, down on the Med. It's GORGEOUS here, and pop star boy friend (note: NOT one-word boyfriend) and I are having like totally the BEST time in the world, working all day and getting trashed on just about every exotic cocktail you can think of out at the bars in the evening. I'll post some pics later on ... for now ... I love you all, really,

Your Anonymous Celebrity 'x'

Well hellooooo again my darlings, I'm back from an extended hibernation over the first part of the summer! I am really sorry for not updating before, and I have checked in on all of your lovely comments ... I must say, I have just not been able to get to the internet since the place where I was deliberately has no internet access. When I cut out, I really like to just get away from it all and forget about everything, if you follow me.

Well, here are pictures of where I have just come back from, anyway (I'll post more later):

I bet NO ONE can guess where this place is! It's a little, remote, lovely place I have where I go away when the media gets all bored over the summer and starts to write salacious pieces about celebrities, which is very tiring if you hanging out in places like New York or L.A., since they're photographing you EVERY FUCKING DAY hoping to get you either just out of bed with no make-up on, or drunk coming out of some nightclub or in the back of a car with a date ... anyways, I got some really nice relaxation and am now taking my slightly higher profile holiday on a beach in the Meditteranean while mixing this with getting some work done on the finaslization of the new project!

Right, since some of you have been sweet enough to ask questions in the comments section of my blog and also e-mail me - thank you for your e-mails, I love them - I'll grace you with some answers. Let's go for it:

Question: Another interesting topic for you to blog about - tabloids. Do you hate them? Do they serve a purpose? Do you want to be in them? If so why, etc. Tell us what real you think.

The simple answer is, YES, I fucking DO hate them, but I'm also a realist - I mean, I can see that they come in use once in a while when you want to publicize something. Generally though, A-list celebrities do not need tabloids at all - it's the kids who are the runners-up on Idol and shit who need them. Depends where, too - like in the U.S., they do actually help boost sales, usually because they advertize your latest movie/album with the story too in a line like "name removed, who was caught smooching name removed last night at the exclusive bar  in the W New York, has a new album out which critics believe is ..." etc., etc. In the U.K., tabloids don't bother promoting you, so I tend to just say FUCK 'EM with that crew.

Question: What do you do in Europe? What have you been doing there recently? Work or play?

I have to say, play, play, PLAAAAAAAAY! But now I'm working again; one of the places is in this beautiful beachside studio - it's actually really cool, because you can hear the waves when you're not shooting/recording and you can just stroll right onto the beach, get a Malibu Coke and go back to work like thirty minutes later. Another A-list celebrity friend (boy of course!) is coming to join me in about an hour - he's coming for a week, so I promise - I really so - to keep you all posted but for now, I must go change ... (I don't think a bikini is quite the right thing to wear to the airport!).

I love you all, really,

Your Anonymous Celebrity 'x'