I haven't been out of my apartment for a week now, and I haven't turned on the computer, haven't read a paper, haven't done anything except drink and sing and write on my notepad (by hand).

The last week has been difficult for me, very difficult, but I'm back. I'm here. So what's happened? Why did you desert us? I hear you asking - and I can hear you, my darlings, I can hear you louder than you know. I know you have kept coming back, because I can see you have.

First of all, thank you. thank you for holding my hand and keeping close to me. And all your e-mails! I can't believe it ... I really, really, can't. I thought I couldn't blog anymore, had to protect my precious status, but now I realize it's all just a joke. No one really fucking cares - not really. They want me for my money. Now I'm supposed to be making  TV show, meant to be in NYC tomorrow, and here I am, wine in hand, chain-smoking cigarettes, getting totally fucked up. I neeeeed youuuu. That's the real reason I'm back.

Thank you SO MUCH for your lovely e-mails. let me share the best of them:

Someone in a panic posted that you were closing down you blog; the anonymous celebrity was packing up and leaving the online community or something along those lines.  Well this was the first time that I actually heard about it and I was a bit intrigued.  I read all your posts and I found them absolutely fascinating.  The insider look into the seedy Hollywood world, oh what a scandal that would make and I agree "Cruella" would probably rip you a new one if this got out.  However, that is the beauty of the internet, the media outlets of the world really don't take it seriously so your safe for the moment.  But I also got why your doing it and having read a few of the comments I don't think some of the others out there do.  Most blogs have turned into personal opinion editorials on things that they have real reason to comment.  But there are the few that are more personal, more deep seeded.  Please correct me if I am wrong but I see that your writing to scream at, to laugh with, to cry to, to say all the things to all the people that you can't in person.  To share apart of yourself with someone or something in the hopes that someone will reciprocate that with a few kind words.  To the shock of those who are unaccustomed to the internet world it is a very cold and bitter place filled mostly with lonely teenage boys who think that the four years of high school are the "it" times and they are missing it.  Like you said they are probably jacking off to your image not knowing that they just called you an a-list idiot.  Comment sections make me laugh, its just funny what people think they are entitled to say. 

    As I was reading your last two posts I don't know I guess my heart just went out to you.  The Xanax cocktail always does that to me, I've known to many people to get wrapped up in it, and it created a bit of a soft spot. Even if you didn't take them.  I don't know who you are and I don't ever know if your a real celebrity but I do know that you reached out and got you hand shot at.  Take what I have to say with whatever you want but stick with it.  There are benefits to opening yourself like you have been doing and they wont come from the comment section.  I get that you want feedback and I get that you want attention but you wont find it in the internet world.  There are just too many irritated teens out there with a chip on their shoulder.  But when you put yourself out there you generally feel better, like you said it's therapy.  Its about venting and saying all the things that really want to in life and just can't for whatever reason.  Its about sharing the good, the bad, the oh so ugly and believe me the internet is full of the ugly.  Oh God the stuff that's out there I mean talk about things that make you go (well I don't really know how you spell a shudder sound).  There are some seriously fucked up people out there, sorry moving on.  If you feel your not getting what you need out this then drop it but don't base on the comment section.  I don't know why I am writing this but every once and a while you see something or read something and just feel like you gotta say something.  Not comment on but sit down and think things through.  I don't know if any of this makes sense its alittle late across the pond and I've been up for a while so I'm off to bed after I send this.  I really do hope your doing better and that you've come down from the vertigo.  So how ya doin?

- Name Removed

PS - I know the subject has nothing to do with anything but Journey started playing in Itunes and I had nothing else to put there.

I love Journey too - Anon Celebrity

... and ...

If you’re really going through with shutting down your site, I wanted to make one more stab at communication. I’m not sure what you were looking for that you didn’t find, or thought you would find, in just a few short days. Your “Vertigo” post was so poignant, so real … I guess what I’m trying to get at it is that your content is fantastic … so why are you stopping? The explanation on your site doesn’t make sense to me.

You don’t owe me an answer. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t even know me. But I got to know you a little, I think. Thank you for that. And I do hope you find what you’re looking for.

and ...

Don't let the bastards get you down. You're going to get assholes
wherever and however you get any reasonably large group of people
together. You shouldn't let the bad ones tar all us good guys with the
same brush.

This is obviously cathartic for you, and will be doing you the world of
good. Whats good for you isn't necessarily all that pleasant , however,
and at times it may be a bitter pill to swallow. You should keep at it
though, with practice your writing style and will get better (not a
criticism as such, if you're not used to writing large chunks of text
then it can take a while to find a rythm) and you'll find your online voice.

Keep writing from the heart and the world will seem that much better for it.

I emailed this rather than commented as some things are best said one to
one, and shouldn't be open to scrutiny and public comment.

Don't go, please.

Well, you are saving me here - once I switched on my computer, read those e-mails, I realized how much I needed you, my fans, and those fans that know me. I'm going through a hard time, life has been tough on me -- I am rich, I am beautiful, I have the penthouse apartment, yes, but I don't really have any friends. Not really, not like friends are supposed to be.

I have tried to think about my life this past week, tried to see it through the lenses of society, tried to see it as if it were seeing me, as if you were seeing me, oh darlings. And I realized, I am not capable of it. I am addicted to PERFORMING. I need to be there, in front of you all, I need to fuel my body and soul with the screams a performer hears in their ears when they are in front of millions of people.

So, thank you, you have brought me out again, back in the limelight, and tomorrow I will be there, right in front of the cameras again. I won't leave you now, my darling readers. I won't! I will be there, in front of you, there for you to masturbate and dream over as you fuck your lovers, there in your homes, sent to you by FOX, by HBO ... tomorrow. Tomorrow, for the first time in a week, i will be there, in public. And I'll ave a drink in a real, live, Manhatten bar ...

So, until then,

Your Anonymous Celebrity 'x'